So here it is Wednesday.  I weighed on Saturday and I didn't gain nor did I loose.  I still weigh 484.  That is still 18 pounds down from where I started. 

We went to Fredricksburg on Saturday and it was absolutely HORRIBLE.  It was 96 degrees, very crowded and no place to park.  I ended up dropping of Bill & his dad while they walked around and I sat in the truck.  There is no way I could have done all that walking in that heat with no shade and no place to sit.  So after about 90 minutes they were done looking around and we went to get something to eat.  That alone was it's own nightmare.  First I was driving around trying to find this German restaurant, then when I finally found it there was no place to park.  Had to find a place in the back of the restaurant and then ask these nice bikers if they could park the truck into this tight parking space, which they happily did.  The restaurant was PACKED so we ended up sitting outside under this canopy with misting fans blowing.  Bill & his dad got a table that I couldn't fit at and I was so embarassed trying to sit down.  I ended up crying and I could swear this table next to us was laughing at me.  I was so angry I just wanted to leave and I REFUSED to get anything to eat...until their food came and I was so hungry I ordered something off the kids menu.  I finally cooled down from sitting in the truck and got some food so I felt better but I was really upset over the hole thing.  I don't think I will do it again anytime in the future.  Maybe if it was winter time and not so many people.  I just don't like the heat and I don't like crowds.  Maybe I should move to Alaska. 

Bill's mom and family are coming in June and we are suppose to tour San Antonio.  I already told Bill I am gonna stay at the hotel while they go sight seeing and they can come back and pick me up.  It will have to be really cool that day in order for me to get out there and walk around.  I really think I could do the walking around if it wasn't so HOT.

I am afraid this week when I go to weigh in I will have gained some.  We have been eating and eating and I haven't done a very good job of watching.  On Sunday Bill's dad took us out to an all you can eat breakfast and although I only went through 1 time I still had fattening food.  This Sunday we are going to the Mother's Day brunch on post.  It's all you can eat and I am gonna have to carefully watch what I eat.  My stomach has hurt all week from the eating.  I haven't been eating my yogurt in the morning and I think that has a lot to do with it too.

We are headed to TN at the beginning of June.  I had hoped to be down to 470 by then but I don't think that is realistic.  If I could get down to 475 I would be happy.  The one thing Bill and I have decided about this trip is we aren't brining any 'snacks' in the truck with us.  If we want something to eat we will get it when we get gas.  In the past we would bring trail mix or crackers, etc and then end up eating all the way to TN.  Should be interesting.

My knees were hurting a little yesterday and the day before but we had a strong cold front come through and I think that was the cause, they don't hurt now.  Still haven't gotten in the pool.  If it's not one thing it's another that has prevented us.  Hopefully soon though.

I am keeping my hands busy by finding sewing crafts to do.  I find if I keep them busy I don't snack in between meals.  Which is a good thing but now I just need to watch what I eat at those meals, especially while company is here. 

Take care everyone...Later...K

So it's been a month since I blogged.  I stopped cause I didn't think anyway was reading them except my mom and I talk with her everyday.  So I am sorry to those of you who do read that I stopped.  I will keep it up cause I know that you are interested in my progress.

I have noticed that even though I haven't lost a 'ton' of weight that it is getting easier to walk and stand.  The last couple of weekends we have gone to the px, commissary, etc and shopped.  I surprised myself and my husband in how well I was getting around.  I wasn't out of breath nearly like I had been.  You know 4 months ago I wouldn't haven't been able to do what I have done.  It really makes me feel good.  Now don't get me wrong, I still have bad days but they are few and farther between.

As you know Bill has been doing most of the chores now for several years.  About the only thing was doing is the dishes and I would have to sit to do those.  Now I can do the laundry and that includes taking the basket from the bedroom to the garage and back after all the laundry is washed.  It really makes me feel so good to be able to do this. 

Yesterday we bought a new vacuum cleaner and of course we had to try it out last night.  Bill said you want me to vacuum and I said no, I want to give it a try.  I was like a kid at Christmas playing with there new toys.  I couldn't believe I was standing and running a vacuum.  Bill was grinning from ear to ear and after it was done I just had to call my kids and mom and tell them what I had done.

You are probably saying, why would you get so excited about doing this.  Well when you get as big as I am you get to a point where you physically can't do anything.  I remember watching this show several years ago and it featured this man who weighed over 1,000 pounds.  He took up the WHOLE bed, side to side, top to bottom.  He couldn't get up to use the bathroom, he would just go and then his wife or dad would clean him up.  They would bring him a BUCKET full of chicken and all the fixings and that would be his meal.  He couldn't even sit up to eat it, had to lay on his side.  He had bed sores from laying all the time.  When I watched that show I thought to myself, why would anyone do that to themselves.  How can you let yourself get that fat and that dependent on others for everything.  As I thought back on that show I realized I was doing excactly what he was doing.  I would ask people to bring me food, I would let them do the chores so I didn't have to.  I was turning out like him (except for the bathroom thing).  I was to a point in my life where getting up was difficult and I would rather just sit and ask people to get me what I wanted.  Now if I ask my husband to go get me something he tells me to get off my butt and get it myself and 9 times out of 10 I won't go get it cause I don't want to put the effort out.   At first I was so angry with him for doing this.  It made me so mad but now I know he is doing it for me and I love him for that. 

It's been 2 weeks now since I have had to take any pain meds because of the pain in my back and knees.  I didn't even realize it until yesterday that I hadn't taken any.  I also hardly take tylenol and motrin too.  You have to understand for me this is a big deal.  I was taking pain meds 3 to 4 times a day and in between those taking the other.  Now not to take any is wonderful.  My lower back hardly has any pain and my knees don't hurt.  When we would go grocery shopping I could hardly bend my knees and pull myself into the truck after we were done.  Now it's no effort at all.

Next month we are going to TN to visit and will be taking Addie to the zoo.  I am scared but excited at the same time.  All that walking makes me nervous but on the other hand I am excited to see how well I can do.  I know it will be tough but I NEED to do this to prove to myself that I have gotten over another hurdle.  I don't want to miss out of Addie's life. 

Thank you for your love and support and words of encouragement.  Please keep them coming and please keep me in your prayers.  When I have lost 30 pounds I get to go back to the doctor and reevaluate my meds that I take and hopefully we can start weening me down off the dosage and eventually off of them.

Today we are going to Fredricksburg, TN with Bill's dad.  It's gonna be HOT and it will be an effort but I am looking forward to seeing how well I do.  Until later......K

Yesterday was weigh in day and I was so happy when I stepped off the scale and I hadn't gained or loss any weight, I stayed the same.  With me going back and forth not to have gained was really nice.  I can't seem to break 490 though so I have made it my goal for the month of April to work my hardest to get down to 480.  I have 11 pounds and 30 days to do it.  Go me.

It's really weird to cook our 'supper' meal at lunch time and only have sandwiches or a salad for supper but I am adjusting.  We went grocery shopping over the weekend and I bought almost $50 worth of meat and then portioned it out into food saver bags so when it's time to cook a meal all I have to do it thaw out exactly what I need and won't have extra.  Today I made pork chops and started at 10:30 this morning so they would be ready for lunch when Bill came home.  We had a nice lunch together and then we have all day to work it off.  Tonight for supper I just had a chef salad with lots of vegetables.  Very filling and not a lot of points.

Yesterday I worked really hard to get all the laundry done and kitchen cleaned up .  It felt so good to get up and move around.  I wonder what life will be like when I lose just 10 pounds (by the end of April).

The temps have warmed up and the pool water is getting hot so we should be swimming by Easter weekend.  So looking forward to it. 

Well I don't really have a lot to say so I'm gonna run.  Thanks for your support.  Until later...K

Wow I didn't realize it has been over a week since I blogged.  I was reading my last entry about getting in touch with the nutrition clinic on post and I did hear back from them but they don't have a group meeting where I can go.  So for now I will just keep doing what I am doing at home.

This past Sunday I weighed and had lost 4 pounds and was so surprised at that.  I truly didn't think I had lost anything, in fact, I thought I had gained.  Boy was I surprised at the results.  Over this past week or so I have really gotten more active and not just sitting around.  I was so good at the beginning back in January and then I hit a low point where I gained 6 pounds in 2 weeks and I was really feeling sorry for myself.  I felt like such a loser.  But I picked myself up, wiped myself off and started all over again and it paid off...down 4 pounds.  I am now back down to 491 pounds and that is 11 pounds from where I started. 

As you know I bought the food saver thingy and made up some meals, portioned them out into individual bags and put them in the freezer.  This past week it has really paid off in making supper for myself.  All I had to do was put the main course in the microwave to heat up and while it was doing that I made a vegetable, salad or pasta to go with it.  Then when it came time to record my points it was SO MUCH EASIER.  I recommend getting a food saver to anyone who struggles with supper meals.  Make up some meals ahead of time and then on a night when you don't have time to cook you just have to reheat.

On Friday night I put the pork tenderloin in the crock pot with the BBQ sauce and it cooked all night so when we got up Saturday morning all I had to do was portion it out and freeze what we wouldn't eat right away.  That way we don't get tired of a particular food (from eating it 4 days in a row) and we can get more variety in our meals. 

I got a compliment from my husband on Friday.  He dropped me off to mail a package and when I was done I had to wait for him to come pick me up.  When he arrived he told me that I looked great.  I had what he meant and he said I looked skinner and I was standing up.  This just made my day.  For people who are fat like me standing and not leaning on sitting down is hard to do and standing straight is even harder.  I have really been working on standing, forcing myself to stand to do stuff.  It seems to be paying off.  This past week has just been wonderful.  I found myself doing more and being more active and not really thinking about it...I JUST DID IT.  My husband would say, do you realize you just did such and such and I went no.  Shocked us both.  So I am finding myself doing stuff that before I either wouldn't do or would struggle to do and now am just doing it.

I have taken on the job of gathering up the trash on Monday nights for Bill while he is at school and then all he has to do it put it out before going to bed.  Some may say, what's so hard about that, but there again I had been so used to just sitting and not doing anything that just that simple job was hard.  It can still be a struggle sometimes but I work through it and just tell myself that I AM GOING TO DO THIS NO MATTER WHAT.  That is my motto or goal....I AM GOING TO DO THIS NO MATTER WHAT.

I have 2 1/2 months before my mother-in-law gets here and we go sight seeing.  I still have a ways to go before I can do much walking with her but I am determined to get there.  Please continue to pray for me and my daily struggles.  If I can push through the daily routines then I will be successful in the long run.  Until later...K

I just read an article on the Fort Hood web page about a lady who weighed 285 pounds.  She wanted to have Lap Band surgery but her husband did some research about the side effects and how she would have to change her eating habits after she had it.  So she decided to hold off and get in touch with Darnall Nutrition Services at the hospital and she is so glad that she did.  She has lost 45 pounds in 10 months and won't be having the surgery.  They have taught her how to chose right foods to eat and the correct portion sizes.  I was so moved by the story that I emailed the person who wrote the story asking them to get many the information of the Nutrition Center so I could contact them.  I thought I could do this with just the online version of weight watchers but I really think I need to have a face to face with someone or a group each week.  I can't afford the weight watchers meetings so I am hoping that the center on post will see retired family members.  I also am hoping that that person will ge back in touch with me with the info.

I feel like such a failure.  I thought I was so committed to this but as my mom pointed out I am just not there yet...and she is right.  If I was truly committed I wouldn't have gained 4 pounds this past week.  I would be pushing myself harder to get this weight off. 

I'll let you know what happens in the next couple of days.  It will be a struggle to go to the hospital.  You have to park SO FAR AWAY from the building and walking is not easy for me.  And I am not one who like to get out of my comfort zone and this will most certainly get me out of it.  If I can't do this then I will have to do the weight watchers meetings but one way or the other I am going to push myself.

Thanks all...Later K

Good morning one and all.  It wasn't such a good week for me.  I guess I tried to tell myself that I was eating right and watching my points but the scale had something else to say and I ended up gaining 4 pounds this week.  You can fool yourself but you can't fool the scale...lol

I don't know why I have such an obession with food.  At times it seems that is all I think about...food, food, food.  Some days it seems like I am always hungry and that is what is was like this past week.

I did make up a bunch of meals for this week and freeze them in individual portion sizes with the seal a meal.  So this week when Bill goes to school at night I am ready for supper.  He will be driving this week so I won't have the truck accessible to run out and get fast food.  Not having the truck around will be a nice thing.

I thought I was doing 'just enough' exercise this week but there again the scale said otherwise.  Even Bill, who worked his behind off this week ended up gaining this past week.  Maybe it's in the water...lol NOT

I look back on what I ate this week and I didn't really keep track writing it down but in my mind I can see that we ate pizza 2 different times, had that cookie dessert thing, ate out 2 different times and I am sure there are other times that I can't remember off the top of my head that wasn't healthy.  Just don't a good week for either of us.

Well time for breakfast.  Gonna have a bowl of cereal and a yogurt.  Take care one and all...Later

So the other night I made honey glazed pork chops, frozen corn and chicken flavored noodles from one of those packets.  Its was DELICIOUS and we have left overs.  I will certainly be making this again and again.

Today we bought a food saver vacuum sealer and I am so excited to use it.  I had lots of leftover food that I put in the freezer but tomorrow I am gonna separate them out and put it in the baggies that came with the food saver.  Then when Bill comes home for lunch all I have to do is put in the microwave or boiling water to heat it up.  I will also set myself up with meals for supper so hopefully it will make it easier for eating at nights when Bill is gone.

I made a dessert cookie the other day too and tomorrow I am gonna divide it up, seal a serving in a baggie and put them in the freezer.  Then I will throw one in Bill's supper at night when he goes to school.  What a nice treat for him. 

It's been a good week eating wise.  I have kept on my points but I haven't exercised a lot.  At least not exercising my usual stuff.  I have been working around the house with Bill and getting some exercise that way.  We decided today we aren't as young as we used to be and by evening we were so tired we just sat and watched tv.  Tomorrow I have a lot to do and I hope it will be a good day and not have a lot fo aches and pains.  Spring break is almost over.

Bill got the pool all drained and cleaned up and it's refilling.  Tomorrow he will hit it with the chemicals and hopefully it will warm up by April or May so we can start swimming.  I can't wait.  I feel so much better after we have worked out in the pool.  Last year Bill came up with some exercises I can do in the pool to build my strength and it worked.  Unfortunately I lost it all through the winter.  I have to come up with something in the winter to keep up my strength and not gain weight.  I am praying that by winter time I have lost enough weight that I can fit into a swimming suit and then go to the local swimming pool to do water aerobics.

So looking forward to more nice weather.  I seem to want to get up and do more stuff when the weather is nice.  I can open the windows and get fresh air and it just makes me feel better.  When I feel better I don't like sitting around doing nothing.  So here's to nicer weather and windows open.

I am headed to bed.  Night all.  Hope you are having fun reading my blog.  I appreciate and love the support and prayers.  Until later...K

I discovered that you can use Laughing Cow Light Garlic & Herb as a substitue for mayo on a sandwich.  It is really good and only 1 point.  The mayo is 3 points for 1 T and it usually takes 1 1/2 T per sandwich.  Yesterday for lunch I tried the 1 wedge (only 1 point) and it was enough for the sandwich but more importantly it was delicious so I think I am gonna start doing that.  Bill doesn't want it but that's ok.

Yesterday was a good day moving around and stuff.  I got the kitchen all picked up, dishes done, trash gathered up.  I did several loads of laundry (didn't get them folded yet) and picked up the living room.  Today has been another story.  It just hurts so bad to move and I don't understand why.  My knees hurt so bad that just sitting they still ache.  Didn't get anything done today (I was only home in the morning).  In the afternoon we had to run to Home Depot in Temple and we were gone for about 4 hours so I think I will take at easy tonight and try tomorrow to get the rest of the laundry folded and put away.

Bill took me to Fozolis' cause he felt bad making me wait around in Home Depot for him.  I was talking to him about how I felt.  Why do I hurt so much.  Why do I have fantasticly wonderful days and other days I can hardly move.  I thought it was the weather but we have no cold fronts coming through, nothing like that is changing today so I just don't understand.  I just would love to have a week of no pain, no aches and get so much done.

Well I am gonna go for now and get some rest.  Praying for a good day tomorrow.  Catch you all later...K

It's Sunday and weigh in day.  Unfortunately this past week has not been nice to me and I gained 2 pounds.  I really thought it was gonna be more so I am happy with only 2 pounds.  I wish it had been in the other direction but I was not good at watching what I ate and not exercising.  It was just a bad week all in all.  But today was good and I am back on track.  Bill is off this week for spring break and he will help me. 

I made several meals to have during the week so I won't be struggling to fine something to eat or wanting to go out to eat.  We did go out Friday night but I had steak and a sweet potato.  I only ate half of my meal and the rest I ate the next day.  Cut up the steak in a chef's salad but didn't eat the sweet potato.  The salad was really good but the sweet potato didn't heat up well.

In June my mother-in-law is coming for a visit with my sister-in-law and nephew.  We will meet them in San Antonio at the train station and spend the night.  The next day we are gonna do some sight seeing around there.  When I think about sight seeing my stomach gets in a knot and I get sick.  It is so frightening to me all that walking and stuff.  I am really scared I am gonna let down everyone.  I want to just go and sit on a bench and let the rest of them go about their day but then I miss out on so much.  I tell everyone it's ok I am fine with this but my heart is sad.  I miss out on so much being this big.  It just doesn't feel like it is ever gonna end.  I am crying just thinking about it.  Guess I will change the subject and just tell myself it will be ok.

Bill started draining the pool today and getting it ready for the summer.  Can't wait until we can go swimming.  It's the only place on this planet that I can move around without hurting.  The water is so nice to fat people.  Can you imagine what a whale would feel like on dry land.  No wonder they are in the ocean.  I feel right at home in the water....lol

Tomorrow it's suppose to be the only day that is nice this whole week so we are gonna tackle the grass and also work on straightening up the garage.  Wish me luck.  I am gonna try and help Bill mow the grass and see how well I do.  I am looking forward to it.

I have had several people ask me how I can eat such and such cause it has so many calories.  You can eat anything you want BUT you have to stay within your points.  My friend Dora said to me tonight, you can have that BIG slice of cake and a small salad.  Now grant it you won't feel full if you do that but as long as you stay within your points you can.  I would not do THAT but I do allow myself to have sweets once in a while.  Except for last week when I didn't really watch what I ate I am trying to eat better.  The thing about weight watchers is they teach you how to eat from all the food groups.  It teachers you not to deprive yourself of your favorites but to figure out how to fit them in your week in SMALL portions.

Today we went grocery shopping and I bought the makings for a fruit salad.  Can't wait to make that tomorrow.  We love fruit salads.  Also bought myself some hard candy to suck on.  It helps when I am wanting something but don't really want the points.  5 jolly ranchers = 1 points and I can make those 5 jolly ranchers last a LONG time.  I also bought some M & M's and have already divided them into portion sizes in baggies.  Kept out just a few for this week and the rest we have put away for later.  Bill had a baggie tonight and he was surprised and satisfied with the amount, 1/4 cup = 1 serving.  Not bad.

Well next week is gonna be better.  Have lots on my plate to do and have a wonderful husband who will keep me on track.  Thanks for your support and love.  Later...K

Today has been one of the worse days since I started weight watchers.  I am so very tired, I have a headache & my knees hurt incredibly bad from the weather.  Doing any kind of exercise is out of the question.  I can hardly move.  I had to go out and about today and that was so difficult.  I will be so happy when bed time gets here tonight.  I have taken some pain medicine to help with the discomfot, hope it kicks in soon.

I never got around to making up meals over the weekend or yesterday.  Wish I had it would make having supper tonight so easy.  Guess I'll just have to grab a sandwich.  I didn't even have the energy to fix Bill supper so he just grabbed some food from McDonald's.  Praying for strength & energy tomorrow.  I need to get those meals cooked up. 

The rain is coming in tomorrow and will be here for the next week or so.  Maybe my knees will stop hurting once the pressure stops changing and settles out.  Spring break starts Friday afternoon and we have so much we want to get accomplised in a short time.  So looking forward to doing some physical work to help Bill with the repairs, etc around the house.

Well I'm gonna go get some food.  Catch you later...K

This has been such a day of 'news' for me.  I have had so much energy and got so much done.  I know that you are thinking why do the simpliest things seems to be so hard for her to do and she gets so excited when she does them.  Well think about this.  Imagine yourself 2 1/2 times heavier than your normal body weight.  Then think about yourself on your most tirest day where you just don't have any energy to go on.  Now try and live like that every day of your life.  That is what I have been living like for so many years.  No energy, no doing anything but sitting on a couch and being a bum.  Just to get up and go get a drink was work and I would have to sit down in the kitchen and catch my breath.  Now I can go from the office to the kitchen (opposite ends of the house), get my drink and walk back to the office without having to take a break....AND I'm not out of breath when I get back and sit down.  These little mile stones just make my day.  Now I am not saying that I can walk a long distance and not be out of breath because I still get that way but it's getting better every day.  It really is DAY BY DAY.  I can't plan for next week cause I am just trying to get through each day. 

When I used to do the laundry (before Bill took over) I would sit at the machines to sort and move the laundry on.  Now that I have taken back doing the laundry I WAS still sitting but today I actually stood there to move the laundry on and to hang up the permanent press.  It just made me feel so good to be able to do that.

There are things in my personal life that I don't want to share but just know that even those are getting better and I rejoice.

Today I sat outside with Bill for 2 hours and enjoyed the beautiful day.  I haven't done that since we first moved in.  It would be too hard to walk out there and then sit around and have to walk back inside so I wouldn't do it.  I would just stay in my chair in the house.  I so enjoyed being with him outside and as I sat there I was looking at the yard thinking,....I can help mow this lawn when it's time.  I know it will be tough to start with but I am excited about giving it a try.  In the past I wouldn't even get it a second thought. 

At supper tonight I told Bill he has to be strong for me over spring break.  I am so gonna want to go out to eat all the time, it's something we love to do, but I told him I don't want to.  Boston's Restaurant has all you can eat pizza on Tuesday nights and normally we can't go cause Bill is in school on Tuesday nights but over spring break he will be off.  I told him to please, please, please don't let us go there cause I would just eat and eat and eat that pizza and put back on the weight.  I have worked too hard to get these 13 pounds off, I am not about to put them back on.

We were gonna go to KFC and get one of those chicken pot pies but when I figured out how many points 1 was I said, nope we arne't doing that.  1 chicken pot pie is 21 points.  That's a lot.

So I am learning how to make better choices and be smart about what I eat and I am so happy.  Thanks for all your support and love.  Until later....K

Well it's official.  I weighed myself this morning and I finally got under 490.  I now weigh 489.  YEAH ME!!!!

Bill went grocery shopping yesterday and bought the makings for smoothies using bananas, strawberries, milk & yogurt.  He mixed one up this morning.  I am NOT a smoothie fan.  He didn't care for it either so I think we will figure something else out.

Last night I made hamburger pie and divided it up into 9 servings.  It was only 7 points per serving and 1 serving was enough.  Today I am gonna cook up some of my recipes for the week and then divide them up into per portion sizes so we will have something to eat for the week and won't have to figure out the points each time. 

I feel like things are really starting to come together and it's becoming a little easier to stay on this path.  I feel really happy about life. 

I know this is short but I am gonna run now.  Have lots to do today.  Enjoy life, you only get one chance to go through it.  Later.....

So it's Friday and that means date night and normally Bill & I stay at home, watch tv and have pizza.  Well tonight Bill saw an ad for the Ruben sandwich at Arby's and he wanted to try it so we went.  I am happy to say that I had a BLT in a whole wheat wrap and a salad instead of fries.  I did splurge and have the chocolate turnover for dessert.  The whole thing was really good and I am so pleased with my choices.  I don't feel 'overfull' like I normally do after having pizza.  In fact, I am a little on the hungry side and will go to bed like that.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and have officially lost 12 pounds since I was there back at the beginning of January.  It's been about 6 weeks now and I am so happy.  At the doctors office, with all my clothes on, I weighed 489.9.  I can't wait until Sunday rolls around and see how much I weigh at home.  The doctor was very pleased with my weight loss.  He said that you should lose about 2 pounds a week to be healthy.  We did talk about how many points I was allowed and how hard it is to eat that many.  He encouraged me to try and get that otherwise my body goes into starvation mode and it is harder to lose weight. 

My mom shared with me an article about heating coconut oil for health reasons and I think Bill and I are gonna try it.  There are a lot of benefits to it.  You are to eat 3 T. a day and we talked about making smoothes for breakfast with our yogurt and putting it in there.  So tomorrow when we go grocery shopping we will get all the ingredients and see how it goes. 

I have also come up with 4 recipes for meals over the next 2 weeks.  I am gonna make them up this weekend and then portion them out and freeze them.  We are gonna eat these 'dinner' meals for lunch Monday - Thursday since Bill is gone in the evening for dinner and then for dinner we will just have sandwiches.  I really hope it works, I am excited about giving it a try.  My husband is gonna be sick of chicken when I get through with these recipes but 3 of them are chicken and 1 is pork chops.  It is really hard to make meals out of ground beef and have them healthy I am discovering.  We always get 93/7 meat but our meals consist of spaghetti, tacos, lasagna, hamburger pie, etc.  Those meals are high in fat.  1 ounce of 93/7 meat is 1 point.  That is a lot compared to chicken.

I have had several people write to me saying how I am encouraging them.  How they are exercising more or watching what they eat.  They see me trying harder and it makes them try harder.  I am so happy that they are being encouraged.  Makes me want to work even harder so they won't give up.  So to those of you who I am talking about, and you know who you are, LET'S KEEP THIS THING GOING.  We will just keep encouraging each other and before you know it we will be healthier.

Hope you all have a happy and healthy weekend.  Later...K

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days.  I have something in my eye and I have been bothered with it making it hard to see the computer.  But...it is better today.  I weighed myself on Sunday and I lost a pound.  I am so HAPPY!!!  I went 2 weeks in a row with a weight loss.  It may only be a pound but I'll take it over gaining any day of the week. 

I wasn't able to help Bill with the doors over the weekend.  There was nothing for me to do.  So I just watched...lol  Spring break is just around the corner and we are gonna remodel our bathroom.  I KNOW he is gonna put me to work most likely painting.  I should make him do it since he is going to school to learn all that building trades stuff but I really want to help.  I have all this energy and want to use it to be productive.  Today I am washing 3 loads of laundry and I know for most people this is nothing new but like I have said before Bill usually does the laundry cause it USED to be so hard for me.  But I am finding myself able to do more and more.  The weight is coming off slower than I expected but I am gaining more energy than I expected.  I don't know if that is normal but I'll take it.

Bill had me add another exercise to my routine.  So now I walk from the office to the kitchen and back 3 times a day without sitting down.  The first day it was a killer but today.....not so bad.  I need to do more for my arms.  They aren't very strong.  It is amazing how weak your muscles become when you don't use them and how hard it is to get them back to strength. 

One thing I find very difficult to deal with is evening meals and I was talking to Bill about this and we came up with a plan.  I am gonna take Thursday & Friday and cook up 4 different meals (2 crock pots & 2 casseroles) and then when they cool off I am going to divide them individual portions marked with the point count.  I am so excited.  We even talked about buying a seal-a-mail machine so we can freeze them and then make it easier for having supper on the nights Bill is gone.  So wish me luck with this.  I have found 4 recipes from the cookbook my dad sent me for Valentine's day.  It already has the point values figured out if you follow the recipe exactly.  So this weekend I will go shopping for the ingredients and then make them up.  We both really hope this helps us in watching our portion sizes.

I will say I have lost the taste/desire for chocolate.  I used to crave chocolate after every meal but now I just don't want it.  Maybe it's all in my mind that I know if I start on chocolate I won't stop or maybe my taste buds have changed.  I just don't know.  But at least I don't want it anymore.

Well I'm off to fold the clothes.  Hope you all have a great day.  Life is good!!!

Well it's Friday and that means date night tonight.  Every Friday we have pizza and a movie.  Tonight I am making it from scratch and have figured out how to get it down from 17 points per slice to 8 points per slice.  I can't wait to try it and see if we like it.

I think I over did it yesterday.  I did 6 loads of laundry and cleaned the kitchen and my lower back is hurting so bad.  My lack of exercise and work has made it so I can overdo it easily but that's ok.  AT LEAST I DID IT and it felt good at the time.

I noticed today that my wedding rings are lose and I can twist them around easily.  All these little things that make me happy.

I have had so many people help me with finding recipes that I can make and be within my points.  I am working on a A/B/C/D week menu.  Basically, for week A we will have XXXXXXX, then for week B we will have ZZZZZZZZ, etc....  I am only going to do this for 2 weeks in advance and figure out my points at the beginning so I don't have to fuss with each time we eat.  I found a web sight that allows me to calculate how many servings I want to make for a meal.  So I put in 4 and we will have it 2 nights during the week.  I am so glad my husband doesn't mind eating the same thing twice in the same week.

Ever since I was a little girl my dad would always give his girls (me and my sister) a box of chocolates for Valentines.  This year I asked him not to and instead he sent me a cookbook that is for weight watchers and has the points already figured per serving.  I have found several recipes in there and have only looked through 1/3 of the book.  I can't wait to try some of them.  Thank you so much daddy.  I love you.  I'll let you know how the recipes go.

Well you all have a great weekend and I'll try and blog while I'm watching the Oscars on Sunday night.  Weigh in is Sunday morning.  Here's hoping for under 490.  Later.....

I am really struggling coming up with meals for supper.  During the week (Mon - Thurs) Bill isn't home for supper.  He goes to school and so I just pack him a dinner to take and eat there.  It is usually a sandwich, etc cause that is what he likes.  But for me I need to have something more than a sandwich for supper and I am having a hard time just cooking for one person.  I don't want to buy prepackaged meals cause they contain too many calories and sodium (which I have to watch) so does anyone have any suggestions on meals for one or maybe 2.  I could make something for 2 and eat it 2 days in a row.  This is a real struggle for me.  I want to just run to Burger King, or McDonalds (so easy) but that would blow my new way of eating so I don't. 

When Bill was deployed and it was just me at home I would stop and get fast food on the way home from work and eat that.  Then on the weekends I would just order chinese or pizza and eat that all weekend.  So you can see how bad my habits have become.  I have broken this habit but am still struggling trying to figure out dinner options.  Breakfast and lunch are easy for me.  Does anyone have any meals you can make for 1 or 2 persons that doesn't include peppers.  I can handle onion and mushrooms (just pick them out or leave them out all together) but neither of us like peppers. 

I am doing better, I think, on not ordering food for delivery or going out and getting something fast food.  To me that is such an accomplishment.  Fat people are lazy and I am the best at being lazy.  I would much rather order something then have to cook.  It is too much effort to cook but I really need to put that effort into cooking a meal.  Most of my recipes are for high fat, high calorie meals and I really need to get away from that.  I also live for gravies or sauces and need to stop that.  I wish there was a way to creates a weeks worth of supper meals and then I wouldn't have to put any thought into but once when i plan the meal.  Does anyone make this kind of meal plan?  If so, please share with me what and how you do it.  Thanks....Until later...have a great day.

Good morning everyone.  It's Tuesday and the long weekend has come and gone.  I was so excited to weigh on Sunday.  We bought a new scale, one that goes to 550 pounds (which I will NEVER need...lol) but one that is bigger and easier for me to read the numbers.  So when I stepped on the scale it registered me 4 pounds lighter.  YEAH!!!  I have now lost a total of 10 pounds since I started and I feel GREAT, WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC.

I was talking to my Aunt Patty on Sunday night and she was asking how it was going.  I told her I was doing great and would blog about it on Monday but as you can see, it's Tuesday and I didn't blog like I was gonna.  Yesterday I was sick all day and curled up on the couch with a blanket and the remote control.  But I feel so much better today, I have lots of energy and a list of things to get accomplished today.  So after I finish this blogging I'm off to start my day.  Sorry Aunt Patty for now blogging yesterday I hope you understand and thank you for asking me how I'm doing and being concerned. 

So far each time I weigh I go back and forth.  The first week, lost weight.  Next gained then lost, etc..  I lost this week and I really hope that next week I can register another loss in weigh and make that 2 weeks in a row.  I am so close to being under 490 (only 3 pounds to hit 489).  Can't wait for Sunday to get here. 

I have been eating the Smart Ones frozen meals by Weight Watchers but don't care for them so I think I am not gonna get those anymore and just learn to eat 'normal' food but in moderation.  On Saturday I made spaghetti with whole wheat pasta.  It was only 5 points per serving.  We tried it but didn't really care for the taste of it.  Then I figured out many points regular spaghetti pasta was and it too was only 5 points per serving so there again, I will just eat what I am used to but do it in MODERATION.  It was so funny, I actually had measuring cups and spoons on the table so that we could measure exactly how much we were eating.  Then it was easier to register our points.  We also are using light ranch dressing and both really like it and it's only half the points/calories.  It does take some adjusting and learning and sometimes it gets frustrating trying to figure out serving sizes and points but in the long wrong it will be worth it.

On Saturday I got so frustrated with trying to figure out my points for the serving size that I had taken that I just wanted to give up.  I was so tired of having to measure everything, record everything, etc but Bill said he wasn't gonna let me.  I'm so glad he won't let me give up, in the long run it will be worth it. 

I was thinking about making up some cheat sheet cards with points on them so when I eat a certain food all I have to do is look at the card and it will tell me how many points per serving.  Right now I am figuring points at every meal even if I've eaten it before cause I can't remember what it was from before.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to do this? 

Well I am gonna go get busy for the day and take advantage of this energy I have.  Thank you all again for your love and support.  It's not easy and like I said I wanted to give up on Saturday but I am so thankful for a loving husband and family who won't let me.  Until later.....

It's Friday!!! YEAH.  I have so much energy today and have already gotten started on getting my chores done by 3:00 so when Bill comes home we can start date night.  I love Fridays and date night.  The last couple of days I have really been working on getting more exercise into my daily routine and it seems to be working out.  I have so much energy going into this long weekend.  We are gonna be doing some remodeling in our house this weekend and I am so looking forward to being able to help Bill.  In the past I would just sit and watch him but I really feel I can help him.  I am so excited about seeing what I can help him with.  I know for most this wouldn't be a problem but for me in the past I couldn't do anything but sit and watch.  So this weekend will be my first real challenge to see I can do.  GO ME!!! 

My mom says I am not blogging enough.  She wants to know more about what is going on.  You know when I first started a month ago I was so excited and so many new things were happening.  I was reaching so many new milestones and just had to share.  It seems like this past 10 days I haven't been as excited as I was.  I gained 4 pounds last week, which is NOT what I am suppose to be doing.  I ate out a lot and didn't do any physical activity.  I was determined to get back on track this week.  So here we are the 3rd day of this week and although I am back on track watching what I eat and staying within my points I haven't been doing anything physical except leg lifts at bedtime.  I have been sitting in the office for the past 3 days doing some work for Bill and then working on my ITunes music.  I am not getting up unless I get something to eat or use the bathroom.  So I have decided that everytime I use the bathroom I am gonna do some leg lifts before going back to what I was doing before.  That way at least I will be getting some more physical activity than I was.  I seem to be dizzy again this week.  I bought some beef jerky to eat for the protein but I don't know what else to eat besides eggs for protein.  I can't eat a lot of eggs because they are high in points and cholestrol.  I am already having problems with my cholestrol so I don't need to add to it.  Does anyone have any suggestions for protein and if I eat more of that will I not be as dizzy.

I was really hoping to be at least 15 pounds lighter by now but that didn't happen so it's a little depressing.  We are going on vacation later this summer for our granddaughters 1st birthday.  I would so love to be 50 pounds lighter and be able to go to the zoo with her.  That is my short term goal.  I will have to try really hard to get there. 

I bought some weight watchers snacks and although they only have 2 points per bar they don't taste very good so I don't think I will be doing that again.  We also bought this bag of mixed chocolates that were bite size, about the size of a tablespoon, thinking we would eat no more than 4 a day cause they are 1 point per candy piece.  Well that went out the door over the weekend when we were watching movies and 'pigging out' on them.  I just don't have the will power to say no if they are in the house so I won't be buying those anymore. 

I have really been struggling these past 10 days and need to find a way to uplift my spirits and get excited about losing weight again.  I wish I was feeling right now the way I was feeling that first week.  I think gaining those 4 pounds last week just pulled the rug out from underneath me and I need to get back up, dust myself off and start all over again.

I really am obssessed with food.  I think about it all the time.  I think about getting in the truck and going and buying a burger from McDonalds or ordering Chinese for lunch and telling myself it will be ok but then I don't.  But I think about it and wish I didn't.  I guess I am stronger in that way cause in the past I would have.  Now if I could just get over thinking about it.  I have stopped watching the food channel cause I would get so 'hungry' while it was on and eat.  I wasn't really hungry just bored and food filled that boredom.  When you aren't physical and able to get around you have a tendancy to sit and eat cause you get bored.  I used to put puzzles together but got rid of all of mine.  Doing puzzles would keep my hands busy and if my hands are busy I wouldn't eat. 

Well I am gonna go for the night.  Thanks for all your support and love and kind words.  I know I have so many people rooting for me.  I will try harder.  Nighters....

Wow I just realized I haven't blogged since Tuesday.  This past week has been horrible and I guess I just wanted to not have to face it.  I ate what I wasn't suppose to and I didn't exercise.  Those 2 factors combined I ended up gaining 4 pounds this week and now I'm back to 496.  I really can't afford the calories and points that you get when eat out and the little amount of exercise I do I need to continue it.  That is the only way I am gonna get this weight off.  There aren't any excuses and no one to blame but myself.  I was just lazy this week and wanted to do whatever I wanted to.  I didn't have strong will power but today is the beginning of a new week and no laziness here.  I will be successful this week.

I feel so drained tonight and just don't want to do anything.  Yesterday I wasn't feeling good so I rested all day until about 5pm and then I spent the next 5 hours cutting out valentine's stuff for a teacher at the school.  I did get a good nights sleep but spent ALL day cutting more stuff for the teacher.  It wasn't hard work, the Cricut did most of the work but for some reason I just feel drained tonight and am so ready for bed.  I did get up enough energy to do the dishes.  When you do the dishes by hand I wonder how many calories you burn...lol

I feel like I have been taking all these steps forward but tonight I feel like I have taken 2 steps back.  I ate Chinese for supper and when I added up my points I was shock to see it was more than I was allowed.  Fortunately I haven't used any of my 'weekly' points so I was able to use some of those.  I need to watch what I eat the rest of the week.  I just feel defeated tonight.  I could see me giving up so easy right now cause I've done it before but NOT this time.  I will see this through to the end.

I don't know how people can exercise every day.  My friend, Becca, works out every day and she has a 2 year old.  How she gets up the energy or time to do this is a wonder.  I have to force myself to get up and move around or do my leg lifts before going to bed.  It doesn't come easily.  I just want to sit there and be a vegetable.  That is my problem, I have veggied for to long and it got me to where I am now.  FAT! FAT! FAT!!!  I am having a pitty party tonight.  I need to get down on my knees and pray hard tonight that God gives me energy tomorrow to get up and move.  I don't want to continue like the way I was.  I want to get better, get skinny, get healthy.  It just hurts sometimes to even move and it's at those times I really need too push myself and work through it. 

I have a very dear friend who is also doing weight watchers and keeping a blog and she posted something yesterday that I thought was so good and I want to share it with you.  At church on Sunday she was listening to the preacher talk about 'Default Position'.  Like her, I too spent my whole life focusing on food.  But since she has joined weight watchers she has been praying day and night for God's strength and slowly food is no longer her focus on life.  God is delivering her from her addiction to food and what a joy she is feeling.  On Sunday the preacher asked what is your default position.  "When you are under pressure what is your default position?  Where do you want to go back to?  If it is anything other than a greater trust in God it limits your future.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you rewrite the default position of your life.  It will change the potential of your life."  What wonderful words those are and I'm so glad my friend shared them on her blog.  I am going to start asking God to help me rewrite my default position so food is not my focus.  So I can focus on Him and His ways. 

Just writing this tonight has brought me to tears.  It is such a struggle to lose weight and I just feel like I have lost that battle.  I know it's only been 3 weeks and I can't give up.  Whether it's 3 weeks, 30 weeks or 300 weeks I am gonna fight the food battle the rest of my life with God's help.  As long as I give it to God He will help me.  LET GO, LET GOD!!!

Thank you for your love and support.  Please keep me in your prayers that God gives me strength to meet each day head on and to live for Him.

It's Sunday and that means weigh in day.  I was so nervous to step on the scale to see what I have done this week but so excited to see that I had dropped 2.8 pounds and now I am 492.  That is 10.2 pounds down from where I started on January 16th.  YEAH ME!!!

The first Sunday I weighed I had lost 9 pounds then the next Sunday I had gained back 2 pounds.  This week I lost again.  I was really good the first week at watching what I eat.  The 2nd week I thought, well I did so good the first week I can eat whatever I want and learned you can't when you step on that scale.  This past week I have really concentrated on watching what I eat and making better choices and it proved successful with a lost of 2.8 pounds.

We went to IHOP for brunch today.  It didn't take me long to determine I wasn't gonna blow my 10+ lb I had lost so far by eating something that would put it back on so I choice Eggs Benedict.  Had them cook the hash browns without any oil, butter or fat.  Put the hollandaise sauce on the side so I could determine how much I was going to use.  Instead of a stack of pancakes I had them make 5 silver dollar ones and hold all butter.  I didn't eat the pancakes until later in the day, instead ate the bowl of fruit that Bill had.  I was so happy with my choice and don't feel like I 'blew' my diet.  Oh I choose water instead of soda to save those points too.

Went to Walmart afterwards and bought some fresh fruit & smart ones meals by weight watchers.  This week I am gonna try to eat 1 meal with a vegetable and fruit for each dinner during the week.  I also bought light salad dressing so I will have salads for lunch using that.  I really hope that weigh in next Sunday will have me down under 490.

My mom told me that she would give me $100 when I lose my first 100 pounds to go towards buying new clothes.  Today I decided the first thing I was gonna buy was a swimming suit.  I can't fit into any swimming suit out there so when we swim in our pool I just wear a pair of shorts and t-shirts.  I am so looking forward to buying a swimming suit and going swimming at the YMCA this winter. Bill said he would get me a membership there so I can do water acrobics during the winter months.

I can't wait until our pool is up for this summer.  I plan on working out as much as possible.  Maybe I will drop a lot this summer.  Only time will time.

When we used to go to Walmart I wouldn't go in.  I would beg Bill to go get what we needed but today I choose to go shopping.  Instead of parking in the handicap by the front door I had Bill park 3 rows over and about 6 cars down cause I wanted the exercise of walking to the door.  I will get it wherever I can.  I walked around Walmart in the food section and then sat down while Bill did his shopping.  My knees start hurting so bad when I am walking around that I just have to sit and take a break.  I was still proud of how well I did and it made me feel good.  I am paying the price tonight cause my knees hurt but that's ok.  I still feel good overall.  I made good choices on food today and got some extra exercise.

Well tomorrow is another day and it will be a successful day.  Night everyone.

What a fabulous day it has been. I have been very good at eating all my points for the day throughout the day. Bill has made sure that I eat every couple of hours and I haven't been dizzy or light headed.

I had another accomplishment today. Bill needed help loading the old treadmill in the back of the truck and I was actual able to help him lift and slide it in. It was very heavy too. It made me feel so good to help him. In the past I would have to tell him I couldn't.

I made lasagna today too. I made up the recipe on the weight watchers program for recipe builder and when I did that it was gonna be 27 points per serving. When I actually made it and measured how much I used of each item and then adjusted it in the recipe I was able to drop it from 27 points to 17 points per serving. I used a lot less mozerella cheese & ricotta cheese then I would have in the past and it tasted so good. Bill even commented on how good it was. It just amazes how good foods taste when you don't overload them with too much of 1 item.

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I am excited to see how I did. I ordered a food scale from weight watchers along with some of their dessert bars and they will get here next Tuesday. I am excited to start weighing my food. Life is so great why didn't I start this sooner.

Night everyone.

Well here it is the weekend and the weekends are always the hardest for me.  It's when we are out and about and in the past we would go to some fast food place and grab a burger, fries, etc.  We also get ice cream from Chik-Fil-A during the week and last Saturday Bill and I agreed we would go all week without getting any and we did.  Tonight was date night so we went to dinner and afterwards got ice cream and came home.  That will be the only eating out we do this weekend.  I had a pepperoni flatbread pizza made out of whole wheat for the crust.  It was 1 serving and had 25 points to it.  It was really good and I think I will do that again.  I am gonna look for a flatbread crust recipe.  I don't think it has yeast it because it is like it is called, flat.  I will try this at home next time I make pizza.  Bill also got a flatbread pizza but his had steak and mushrooms on it with a blue cheese sauce.  I'm sure that sauce was more points.  He enjoyed the flatbread too.  We did have an appetizer of chips and queso but my part was only 10 points so my supper was pretty good and I had the points to be able to enjoy it.

Tomorrow I am gonna make lasagna so we have it to eat over the weekend. I will also make a vegetable to go with it so we don't fill up on just the lasagna, which is so tempting.  Sunday is suppose to be a soup potluck after church but we are gonna skip it since we can't determine how many points or what size serving the soups will have.

The past couple of days I have been very dizzy and today it was really bad.  In fact, I got lighted headed and dropped a drinking glass on the kitchen floor.  Had to leave it for Bill to clean up cause when I bent down I got light headed.  I am doing better tonight but I have a headache now.  I thought I ate good today.  I had 2 packets of quaker maple oatmeal with a 1/3 cup of skim milk for breakfast.  Then for lunch I had a big salad.  Then in the afternoon I got sick to my stomach and I think I 'got rid of' everything I ate today.  By supper time I was really hungry, dizzy and had a bad headache.  The dizziness went away as soon as I ate but the headache is still here and I have taken medicine to try and get rid of it.  No go so hoping when I go to bed it will get better.

There is also a strong cold front coming in so that may be affecting how I feel, etc.  I notice my joints ached today which usually happens when the weather changes.  Should be past us by noon or so on Saturday and hopefully I will start feeling better.  Weigh in comes on Sunday and I am excited to see how I have done.  I have stepped on the scale a couple times in the middle of the week just to see what I have done and so far I have gone down.  Yeah me!!!  Hope I get to register a weight loss come Sunday.

We are going grocery shopping this weekend and I can't wait to get low fat salad dressing and low fat mayo and try them.  The difference in calories and points is about 1/2. 

Well have a great weekend all. 

I am so very thankful that I can call my folks and just talk and talk to them and tell them about what is going on in my weight loss. They enjoy hearing it and I enjoy talking about it. I was able to reach another achievement today. I carried the laundry basket from the bedroom to the garage where the laundry is. I haven't done this in a very long time. Usually I get Bill to carry it out there and then he does the laundry and all I do is fold it. He washes and dries and then dumps it on the bed and I fold. Made me feel good to wash the laundry today. Who would have thought do laundry is something to rejoice about.

I was talking to my folks about what life would be like when I get down to 400 pounds. I wonder how my attitude will be. I can't wait to be under 480. I haven't seen that in years. I am only 12 pounds from that. When I left Korea in 2001 I weighed 350 pounds. I remember that number cause I weighed myself on one of the scales with the sliding weight and it maxed out at 350. So in 11 1/2 years i have gained 150 pounds. Wow. My goal for this year is to be down to 400 by Christmas. All I want for Christmas is new, smaller size clothes.

I have been doing some research on the difference between regular salad dressing, regular mayo and the light version of both of those. Quite a difference. Gonna buy some of the light stuff this weekend and give it a try.

I feel that the leg lifts and arm weights I am doing have really been helping me a lot. I get around with much more ease. I have noticed that I don't take nearly as much Motrin as I was and absolutely no Tylenol since I started. I only have taken a couple of pain pills and that was cause of my back hurting after last weekend. So I am happy about cutting my pain meds in half or even more. Life is good.

So it's Wednesday morning and I was feeling a little down because I had gained weight at my last weigh in so I stepped on the scale today to see how I was doing and although it's not official I am down again to 492.4.  This is actually less than what I weighed on my first official weigh in on the 22nd.  At that weigh in I was 492.6.  Hey I'll take that extra .2 pounds anyday.  My official weigh in will be Sunday so maybe I can break 490.  Wouldn't that be awesome. 

I am trying to find a good recipe for whole wheat pizza crust.  I love pizza but the white crust has a lot of points to it.  I read an article on WW that I should eat more whole wheat when having breads or pasta.  We bought some whole wheat pasta for spaghetti and we will have it Friday night.  Don't know how it will taste but we are excited to try. 

Someone asked me why I don't have that weight loss surgery that is being offered out there and I had to tell them I was too heavy for it.  Can you believe it.  One can be too heavy to have weight loss surgery.  I would have never believed it if I hadn't heard it first hand.  Talk about an eye opener. 

Well I am gonna go for now.  I found a recipe on WW for chicken pot pie that is only 8 points per serving so I am gonna make that and have a salad with it. 

Hi everyone.  Boy I am having such a great day.  My back is still hurting but getting better everyday.  I have such a postive attitude about life and everything in general.  Was depressed after doing our taxes last night but had an eye opener today and things look better.  When I used to be drepressed I would eat and eat but I have learned that only leads to more depression cause I was putting on weight.  Now if I am depressed or upset I make a conscious decision not to eat.  I have found other ways to deal with it instead of putting food in my mouth. 

I have done well today staying withing my points and that makes me feel good.  I had a big salad for lunch with lots of veggies (which are free) and very little cheese and dressing.  I surprise myself everyday with using less and less of certain foods and realing how good things taste in the 'natural' form (if that makes sense).  I used to smother my food in salad dressings or butters or gravies but not now.  I leave it off or use a very small amount. 

Life is wonderful.  Have a great evening.......bye

So it was weigh in day and I wasn't successful in losing weight this past week. I actually gained 2.2 pounds but i am still down from where I started. It's ok. I'm not down or depressed. I know this will happen and I just have to get back on the right track. I have increased my activity some and that makes me feel good. I was able to deal with shopping yesterday without too much difficulty. I woke up this morning and my back was killing me from the near accident yesterday so I haven't done much today except take it easy. Tomorrow will be another day.

We are planning a vacation later this summer and it will require a lot of activity on my part and I'm really scared about it. I don't know if I will be up to the challenge. Everyone is gonna expect so much out of me and will be mad if I can't meet their expectations. I want to back out of this vacation so badly but I have to push myself to go. I really want to but it will be tough.

I feel like such a burden to some of my family and not my immediate family but my extended family. I wish they would be more supportive but some of them aren't. Oh well. I am not doing this for them I am doing it for me.

I have been enjoying those clementines. Thanks mom for the suggestion to get them. They are delicious. Wanted grapes but they looked horrible so its bananas and clementines this week.

I have a very good friend who started weight watchers a few weeks ago and she also is writing a blog. One of her posts talked about growing up in the south and how all get togethers were around the kitchen table with lots of food. I didn't grow up in the south but do remember Sunday lunches always consisted of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, white gravy and when in season corn on the cob. In the summer time we had homemade ice cream all the time. Saturday breakfasts would consist of sausage gravy, homemade biscuits, bacon and eggs. You can see where my bad eating habits came from. I am in no way blamming my mom cause she wasn't the one who put the food in my mouth. It was so good I just kept eating and eating. Like I said before, on the farm I could eat like that but once I moved away I should have stopped. I LOVE FOOD plan and simple and food doesn't love me.

Well tomorrow is another day towards my goal. I am gonna be on track this week and do better. Thanks all for your love and support. Good night.

I can't believe that Saturday is almost over with.  I will be weighing tomorrow and I am not holding out hope that I lost any weight.  Haven't been too faithful this week with my eating.  But that is ok.  If I lost I will be excited but if I gained I won't let it get me down.  I will just get back on the right path and try harder.

Today we went grocery shopping and per my moms suggestion I picked up some clemintines to snack on.  Never had them before so hopefully they will be good.  I also got more veggies for salads.  I plan on eating lots of salads with little salad dressing and cheese but piled high with fresh vegetables.

It was still a struggle to shop but I think it was easier than before.  Maybe it was in my mind or maybe it was real but I was proud of myself.  I did have to sit down and take a break but didn't sit for long and then got back up and finished what was on my list to buy.  Bill and I have split the shopping into 2 sections.  He buys the stuff that is perishable like milk, etc and I get all the produce, meats and anything canned.  I used to have to walk a couple of aisles and then call it quits and he would finish.  Today I got most of everything on my list.  I did have him go get a couple of my items while I waited for some help getting something out of the back.  They are remodeling the commissary and so you have to get someone to get the frozen veggies from the back.  They never did come so we just went to Walmart..lol  I didn't lean as much on the cart as I have in the past.  There again, maybe it was in my head or maybe it was real but it felt good to 'walk right'.  Bought myself some Weight Watchers desserts.  Got the chocolate cakes and the lemon cakes.  Only 2 points per serving.  Much nicer than the Little Debbie products which have tons of points. 

On the way home we almost got t-boned by this guy who wanted to run the red light.  He would have hit my side of the truck and so when I saw him I screamed and tightened up my muscles.  Now my back hurts.  I hope it doesn't last long cause it's a little painful to walk right now.  Please say a prayer for me that I feel better tomorrow.

Tomorrow is another day and the beginning of another week.  Good or bad when I step on the scale I will see this through.  We have started going to a new church and tomorrow we are gonna try out a Sunday School class.  My world is going wonderfully.  I am happy in life.  I love myself enough to start taking better care of me and I love my family more than ever to want to be here for a long time.

Night to you all.

Well it's Thursday night.  I am so glad that today went better than yesterday.  Yesterday was just a horrible day.  I was tired from being up with the storms the night before.  My joints just ached from the cold front passing through.  Just getting around was a painful.  I didn't want to move but had errands that needed to be run.  While I was out I gave into temptations and bought myself lunch.  Ate way too much food and had heartburn all afternoon.  Then for supper I had 2 blt's.  Grant it the lettuce and tomatoes were 'free' on weight watchers but that bacon, mayo and bread sure wasn't.  I was in a really low place yesterday knowing that I was over my points allowed.  I called my friend and my mom and shared with them how the day was going and they just lifted me up telling me it's ok and to get back on the plan.  When my husband came home I shared with him what had happened and he just gave me a hug.  I love my family and friends cause they are so supportive.

Finally got to bed and all I wanted to do was sleep but I forced myself to do my leg lifts and so glad I did.  Today I feel great.  I don't hurt, I have energy and mentally I am back on the plan.  I have a positive attitude today and I'm not gonna let one bad day change things.  I am loving life and want to be around for a lot longer. 

I noticed that my beautiful rings that my husband bought me 2 years ago are fitting again.  I had gotten so fat that they were tight and I stopped wearing them.  Today I was able to put them back on and that makes me feel so wonderful. 

I had a BIG salad for supper tonight with lots of lettuce and tomatoes and only a little bit of cheese and dressing.  It tasted so good and was filling. 

I am not looking for a big weight loss this week like I had last week and that's ok.  I just don't want to go backwards and 'gain'.

Tomorrow we are gonna run our weekend errands after Bill gets off work.  I am hoping that I have a great day tomorrow to and don't hurt.  It will feel so nice to walk the aisles at the grocery store and not have to sit down after 2 aisles to rest.  Lord give me the strength to get through another day.

Today is gonna be a long day and I am hoping I can stay on track.  We didn't get much sleep last night because of the storms so I have been awake for awhile.  I want to eat so bad.  I am trying very hard to stick to a schedule.  Eat breakfast between 7 & 8, lunch between 11:30 -12:30 and supper between 5 & 6.  Before I would eat whenever I wanted to and in turn ended up eating a LOT of food.  It is very important for me to stay on a schedule.  I wish we could get some fresh fruits right now but can't seem to find any at the store worth while.  Fresh fruits & vegetables are 0 points and you can eat as much as you want.  Makes for a great snack in between meals. 

I am realizing that you really have to measure and weigh everything to make sure you figure out your points correctly.  It feels so weird to measure a tablespoon of mayo before putting it on bread.  I am noticing that I used to use a lot more than a tablespoon before...WOW.  Being on weight watchers has really opened my eyes to how I used to eat.  I never realized how much food I would eat or the poor choices I would make.  I am really learning a lot about food, nutrition & food portions. 

I am currently making an excel spread sheet with items I like to eat and the nutritional info I need to figure out my points.  That way when I go grocery shopping I can make a meal plan ahead of time and only buy what will be ok to eat. 

Well it's time for lunch, yeah!!!  Time to go eat.  Bye

The Beginning

My daughter told me I should start a blog to let people know how my weight loss is going and also to keep a journal of where I was in my life at the beginning of this weight loss. What finally brought me to my knees. So here goes.

My name is Kathy, as you all know. I am gonna be 49 years old this year. I have a wonderful, supporting and very loving husband. He has stood by my side for 30 years. He has never, and would never, judge me. He accepts me for who I am. I have 2 beautiful daughters, 1 wonderful son-in-law and a brand new granddaughter. I was so honored to have my granddaughter be named after me and was even more blessed when she decided to make her entrance on my birthday. My family has always been there for me and I want to be there for them for years to come. They, along with my parents and sister have always encouraged me to lose weight and as much as I wish I could have done it sooner I needed to be brought to my knees and see what they have always seen. I will die at a young age if I don't get a handle on my weight. I could say this "stab" at losing weight is for them but it's not. I have to do this for myself and they will benefit from it. This isn't a stab. It is a change of life and something I will struggle with for the rest of my life but with God's grace and the support of my family I will be successful.

I haven't always be fat. In fact, growing up on a farm I was very skinny. So much work to do you burned lots of calories. My weight didn't become a problem until I got married. At first it wasn't bad a few pounds here a few pounds there but before I knew it my eating was getting out of control. Before I had kids I would eat and eat during the day while Bill was at work and then I would hide the food from him so I didn't have to share. I love, love, love chocolate, potato chips and dip. I would walk to the store and buy a 3 pound bag of Brach chocolate in bulk, a bag of chips and container of dip and eat it before Bill got home. Then go back a few days later and do it again. When the kids came along I would still eat but had to find ways of hiding it from them. I wasn't about to share my food with anyone.

As my weight went up I would set these 'marks' for myself. I would say, "When I hit 225 I'll do something about it.". Well 225 came and went and I would set another 'mark'. My marks always went up in 25 pound increments. Each time I reached that weight I would set another mark. It never stopped. The weight just kept going up and I didn't really do anything about it. I tried to lose weight and would take a few pounds off here and there but I would gain them back and even add to it. I was out of control and on a downward spiral to where I am today.

The first week of Jan 2012 I went to the doctor and when I got off the scale I was shocked. I weighed 502 pounds. I never in my mind thought I was that heavy. I didn't see myself at 500 pounds. If fact, I didn't see myself as that fat to begin with. I knew I was obese cause everyone kept telling me but in my eyes I was 'not that fat that I couldn't get under control'. I don't look at myself in mirrors, I don't have too many pictures of me and the ones I do I am usually behind someone else so my weight is 'hidden'. You would think getting the news that you weigh over 500 pounds would be what brought me to my knees but it wasn't. It actually happened on January 16th, President's Day. Bill was off this day from both schools so we were gonna spend the day running errands. I wasn't looking forward to this day cause I knew Bill would push me to get out with him at the various stops and I didn't want to. It hurts so bad to move. I hate doing anything physical, from walking to the truck to leave to grocery shopping. And as I expected he wanted me to get out with him but I fought him to no end. No one gonna make me do anything I didn't want to do. I did go grocery shopping and just about killed me. By the time we came home I was in so much pain I couldn't stand it. I was popping pain killers to try and take the edge off of the pain. But it wasn't helping. I still was hurting and now I was drugged. I broke down several times during the day and just cried and cried and cried. How did I get like this. How can I go from a woman who could do anything to a woman who was afraid to leave her house cause she knew how much effort it would take and she didn't want to do it. Even getting around my house has become difficult. I couldn't walk 10 steps without being out of breath and having to take a break. I have to sit to do the dishes or to cook or even take a shower. The simple things in life aren't simple to do. I walk with a cane and wish I had a scooter to ride on. People stare at me when I go out and kids point. It's no fun. At times I just wanted to end my life so I could be out of the physical and emotional pain but I love my family too much to leave them. I'm glad I never went through with it cause I am here to say it wouldn't have solved anything and only left my loved ones in lots of pain. It was this day that my life changed for the better. I signed up for weight watchers that night and started doing what little physical exercise I could. It's been a week now and I can't believe how much better I already feel. I lost 9.6 pounds the first week. I cut my daily food consumption in half and I an not that hungry. Today I was successful in walking from my kitchen to the bathroom without having to stop and rest. That just made my day. I have been doing side leg lifts at night laying on the bed and today I added weights to my arms. It is 1 day at a time and although I have long term goals I dont fixate on them. I take it 1 day at a time and those long term goals will be here before you know it. I didn't get fat over might and I won't get skinny overnight. But with God's grace and my family's love & support I will be successful.