My mom says I am not blogging enough.  She wants to know more about what is going on.  You know when I first started a month ago I was so excited and so many new things were happening.  I was reaching so many new milestones and just had to share.  It seems like this past 10 days I haven't been as excited as I was.  I gained 4 pounds last week, which is NOT what I am suppose to be doing.  I ate out a lot and didn't do any physical activity.  I was determined to get back on track this week.  So here we are the 3rd day of this week and although I am back on track watching what I eat and staying within my points I haven't been doing anything physical except leg lifts at bedtime.  I have been sitting in the office for the past 3 days doing some work for Bill and then working on my ITunes music.  I am not getting up unless I get something to eat or use the bathroom.  So I have decided that everytime I use the bathroom I am gonna do some leg lifts before going back to what I was doing before.  That way at least I will be getting some more physical activity than I was.  I seem to be dizzy again this week.  I bought some beef jerky to eat for the protein but I don't know what else to eat besides eggs for protein.  I can't eat a lot of eggs because they are high in points and cholestrol.  I am already having problems with my cholestrol so I don't need to add to it.  Does anyone have any suggestions for protein and if I eat more of that will I not be as dizzy.

I was really hoping to be at least 15 pounds lighter by now but that didn't happen so it's a little depressing.  We are going on vacation later this summer for our granddaughters 1st birthday.  I would so love to be 50 pounds lighter and be able to go to the zoo with her.  That is my short term goal.  I will have to try really hard to get there. 

I bought some weight watchers snacks and although they only have 2 points per bar they don't taste very good so I don't think I will be doing that again.  We also bought this bag of mixed chocolates that were bite size, about the size of a tablespoon, thinking we would eat no more than 4 a day cause they are 1 point per candy piece.  Well that went out the door over the weekend when we were watching movies and 'pigging out' on them.  I just don't have the will power to say no if they are in the house so I won't be buying those anymore. 

I have really been struggling these past 10 days and need to find a way to uplift my spirits and get excited about losing weight again.  I wish I was feeling right now the way I was feeling that first week.  I think gaining those 4 pounds last week just pulled the rug out from underneath me and I need to get back up, dust myself off and start all over again.

I really am obssessed with food.  I think about it all the time.  I think about getting in the truck and going and buying a burger from McDonalds or ordering Chinese for lunch and telling myself it will be ok but then I don't.  But I think about it and wish I didn't.  I guess I am stronger in that way cause in the past I would have.  Now if I could just get over thinking about it.  I have stopped watching the food channel cause I would get so 'hungry' while it was on and eat.  I wasn't really hungry just bored and food filled that boredom.  When you aren't physical and able to get around you have a tendancy to sit and eat cause you get bored.  I used to put puzzles together but got rid of all of mine.  Doing puzzles would keep my hands busy and if my hands are busy I wouldn't eat. 

Well I am gonna go for the night.  Thanks for all your support and love and kind words.  I know I have so many people rooting for me.  I will try harder.  Nighters....